EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER

James' Funnies

Number 8
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6
Men have two emotions — Hungry and Horny . They can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a…

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It’s just one of those days

Sigh. Have you ever had one of those days where your bed is the only thing you want to see? Not your kids, your husband, your annoying mother in law. Just you and your bed!

It’s been a long day for you. 9hrs + at work and all you can think about is kicking off your shoes and relaxing. You shut down and straighten your work place and grab your keys to go. You drag your feet sluggishly to your car. As soon as your inside your car you slouch on to the seat and place your head on to the window. You think to yourself “I’m only 15 minutes away from my bed counting traffic It’ll be 20 min. Okay that’s not bad. Pick yourself up. You can do. Just sit up and drive.” After your pep talk you find yourself heading home. Parking your car and shutting your door seems to be the hardest thing in life at that moment. You do it anyway, unaware of what awaits you  inside. After you take the longest walk known to man down your pathway your finally at you front door. As you turn your keys inside the lock you can hear the angels from heaven singing in peaceful harmony. You walk inside, shut the door and make your way to the closest sofa. After 5 min of relaxation you decided your bed is much better. Now its time to open your eyes.
You jump back in complete shock and horror! You’ve met you match. Yep your house. What have you been doing? Or haven’t been doing? Your house is messy, filthy, dirty, and any other adjective you can think of. There’s random clothes and shoes scattered on the floor and dishes piled high in your sink.

Now it’s time for reasonable deduction. Do you wash the dishes? Do you do the laundry? Do you vacuum the floor? Do you scrub the crust off the side of the wall? Well do you?

OR do you go to bed where you can close your eyes and dream of a clean home?

Well I’m here to give you some tips on how to keep your household clean and still have “me time”.

Bedrooms (10-20min): Strip the beds. Pick up dirty clothes and toss them in to a hamper. Grab extra sheets and make the bed. Use a quick inexpensive duster and swipe across the surfaces. Take about 5 min to vacuum. Do a quick walk through with the vacuum.

Done!

 

Bathroom (10-15min): Time to whip out the fancy cleaning supplies that haven’t been used since the day you bought them. Take out the toilet bowl cleaner and go around the rim of the toilet. Use the clean wipes and tackle the sink. The rim around the tub has got to go! Brown rings are no longer in style. Spray shower and bathroom cleaner inside the tub on the mildew and rust. After that come back to the toilet and use the toilet wand and wipe all around where you see fit. Flush that and your good to go. Rinse out the sink. Sweep the bathroom floor and wipe out the tub. Scrub the rust and mildew and you’re good to go!

Done!

 

Living room (15-20min): Pick up miscellaneous items put them away. Store clothing items in their perspective places. Do a quick vacuum and focus on corners and focal points of the room. Dust where necessary. Straighten pillows or furniture and you’re good to go!

Done!

 

Kitchen (25-30min): Begin by rinsing off dishes and loading them into dishwasher. Don’t have one? Okay cool. Begin hand washing dishes. Sometimes is easier to get the leftover grime off dishes this way. Wipe down counters with small wash cloth. Sweep floor while dishes dry. Put dishes away and you’re good to go!

Done!

 

Time to turn the lights off and fall into bed to start the next day.

By doing this once or twice a week your house should be decent and clean leaving you more time with your bed!

 

 

Do you feel like I left something out? Let me know! What did I miss? What’s your strategy for cleaning house? Leave me a comment and of  course I’ll reply!

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