Dear Little Black Girl,

It took me awhile to sit here and write this post. I do my best thinking at night. I’ve been through sooooooooo many things in my life for me to only be 20. But I’m appreciative of the mistakes, trials, and tribulations that come with being a young black female. See, I grew up in a middle class home. We were comfortable. We had money in the bank, and the bills were paid. Now, don’t you go judging me. I’m not all high and mighty. I’ve been through “the struggle”. There have been times that the lights or water were off but that never lasted long. I had a family to support me no matter what. You would think that my life would be easy with bumps and bruises here and there. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. See my mom always told me “Jazmin, no matter what you do, how you do it, or when you do it. You’re going to have to do it twice as well, and work twice as hard.” I never knew what she meant. I let her words float to the back of my head.

As a young woman today. I now know what she meant.

Do me a favor, before you continue reading this post, look down at your arms or legs or whatever limbs you have. What do you see? Do you see two arms? Do you see two hands with 5 fingers on each? If not dial 911! Haha. Do you see two legs and two feet with 5 toes on each? Okay. There’s one thing that differs you from the next person. Its your skin. Not just your skin. It’s the pigment of your skin. Do me this one last favor, look down and tell me the color of your skin? What’s your race? Heritage? Background? Ethnicity?

 

You see I’m a product of African American descent. No, I am not black. I am brown. Smooth and creamy mahogany brown. I have the slight- deep dark rose cheeks with a gold undertone. I have silky jet black hair that will mesmerize you ever time I turn my head. My dark brown eyes will melt your heart. My lips do wonders while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

 

But.. None of that matters. Why? You know why! Don’t act brand new!! I’m black can’t you see. No matter how hard I work, no matter what I do I’ll always be this way. My mind may very well be intelligent but that wont change my skin. I don’t have a problem being African American. I honestly don’t. It’s the working twice as hard as the next person just to get half way there. All of my life I’ve had to work twice as hard; in the classrooms, jobs, internships, leadership positions, etc. The list can go on and on for days but I wont keep you here that long.

I’m now coming to terms that I am who I am and there’s not a thing I can do about it. I do get tired. I do. But I still fight. I still work. I’m still me. When a job is passed to another person of lesser quality because of my color. I don’t get upset. I try again. And I try even harder the next time. I polish and finesse my skill set and give it another go. This is what you should do. So take notes here (little black girl).

It doesn’t bother me that racism is still very well alive in today’s society. Nor should it bother you.

 

 

I am battered and offended when I am done wrong by another person of color. It’s not the opposing race that will break your heart. Its the people that share the same background as you. Can you believe it? Your own people hurting you. Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Nephews, Friends. I am you. You are me. We.

How can a people that have been through a tremendous amount of suffering still find it in themselves to condemn their own people? This question is still unanswered.

 

 

And this is what hurts me the most.

 

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Your move… I think.

It’s the age old conundrum. Who makes the first move? Who asks who out? Who will win this war? If we keep playing this back and forth game. We’ll all end up single. The only good thing about that is all the cats and dogs from the shelters will no longer be homeless! I mean that’s a plus, right? I mean who wouldn’t want clawed furniture and poop scattered everywhere? That’s better than a human companion any day! Right…? NO, WRONG!

Personally I’m tired of this back and forth. Even the Dutch said fuck it and made the first move! Why can’t the girl make the first move? Who says guys have to always ask the girl out first? Why can’t we step up? HUH? I hear nothing but crickets.
Yep! You’ve got no response. Is it because it’s out of your comfort zone? You’re not use to making the first step? It could resort to rejection and utter denial of any chance that he has the same feelings for you? Could that be it? But why would anyone want to sit and continuously rack their brains over if another person likes you or feels the same way? Why not just ask. Just say, “Hey you. Yeah, you with the hair and face. I like you. I want you. We’re dating. Now buy me a drink. Please?” You’re probably laughing at that but honestly why not? Why hold back your feelings for someone. If you like them then SAY IT!!! There’s no reason that you should sit back and literally go bat shit crazy when you could solve all of your problems with that one interaction!

I know I might seem insensitive. I too have sat back for 4 years straight and watched a guy I like walk right out of my life. I mean I obsessed over him. I knew his shoe size, his ID number, his favorite food and color, where he lived, his license plate, where he liked to hang out… Wait. maybe it’s a good thing he’s gone considering I literally stalked him. And you know what came of that situation? NOTHING. He never knew I existed and still doesn’t til this day. All my hard work and efforts I poured into studying him like he was my Final Examination, went no where. My point is, be the bigger person, make the first move, take the initiative, be the ONE. Don’t let your feelings eat you alive and before you know it, that special someone is walking out of your life and they never knew your name or the fact that you exist. So take the first step. TELL THEM. Don’t be me. SPEAK your mind. Do it for the people that can’t. (hint hint ME!!!)

 

Tell me what you think. How do you feel? Have you made the first move yet? Will you? Are you shy like me?

Well TELL ME! As always, comment below!

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